I’m sorry to make you worry!! I was encouraged by your comments. I’m going to get married as previously scheduled.
He hesitated to get married to me for a while. He experienced a divorce, so he took a prudent attitude. I believe he loves me. But I understand he loves his parents like me.
The situation was unbearable for me, but I waited for his decision. Finally, he decided to get married to me! He called his mother and said his decision. Unexpectedly, his mother said “That’s good! You are a well-matched couple. I’m very happy for hearing good news from you!”
His mother’s attitude had changed until he decided to get married to me. I guessed his parents needed time to accept my family. They worried because they don’t know actual foreigners in Japan very much. But they met me, and felt they don’t have to afraid of foreigners. I’m very glad to understand his parents don’t have a prejudice against our nation.
Now I try to explain Japanese traditional engagement.
When Japanese couple made a decision about their marriage, they exchanged “Yuino”. Yuino is a ceremony to establish a relationship between both families and they say that it originated in China and then was brought to Japan.
Engagement is materialized when the groom brings Sake and relish as “Yuimono” to the fiance’s house. “Yuimono” means to connect two families. Yuino as a ceremony has been carried over to this day, but Yuimono has changed over time and the articles that a groom brings is 9. Items such as “Konbu (=dried sea tangle)” which means to wish prosperity to the descendant, “Surume (=dried cuttlefish)” wishing the fiance good fortune, “Hakusen (=white folding fan)” wishing lasting household prosperity, “Naganoshi” which symbolizes longevity, “Kinpo-tusumi” is for saving money, etc.
However, the number of young people who don’t exchange Yuino is increasing especially in big cities. Yuino is a stiff ceremony, most young people favors casual style. We considered we didn’t have to exchange Yuino. Instead of Yuino, my family and his family had a lunch at a traditional Japanese restaurant. I worried my parents could make close his parents. But I was overanxious. We talked freely, we enjoyed our first meeting. It seems our parents are favorably disposed each other.
My anxiety has gone. I love him more than before. Next we have to moving house. We have already found a new apartment. It’s near an apartment which he lives now. We plan to move at the end of April, so we are very busy now!