Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year! I hope you will have a great year!!

I found my steady partner at last!! This time I’d like to write about him.

Last September, I went the first dating with him. When I arrived at a lobby of the hotel (we promised to meet there), he was reading a book. My first impression of him was favorable. He seemed smart and cool. Then we went a Japanese restaurant. The restaurant was calm and relaxing, and we talked a lot. We found that we are similar in many ways. For example, we like scuba too. Moreover, he was instructor of scuba before! We are working pharmaceutical companies too. I thought that I wanted to meet him again and know him more. Fortunately, he said “shall we go to see a movie?” Of course I said yes! We promised twice dating next week.

Next week, we went out and saw Japanese movie and had dinner at an Italian restaurant. I was more relaxed than first dating, we talked about everything. We promised next dating again.

Then, we have gone out every weekend for 3 months. We went to hot springs, museums, parks, shopping etc. We talked a lot and I have never been boring during dates with him. But I felt anxiety because he didn’t talk about marriage. Does he want to get married with me? He got married and divorced 4 years ago. The reason of divorce was his wife’s depression. She recovered, but couldn’t continue household chore. At first, I had a little anxiety for the reason of his divorce. But he doesn’t use violence, drink alcohol a lot, and go to gambling places.

I asked him that he wanted get to married with me. His answer was yes, but he wanted to go out with me more long time before we got marriage. He experienced divorce before. So he had anxiety for marriage although he wanted to get married again. But how long I have to wait his propose? I want to have my children, so I can’t wait him long time (my age is 35 years old).I said my opinion to him honestly and he understood it. First of all, we were going to introduce our family each other as steady.

We went his home by his car. It took about 2 hours from Tokyo. His hometown is near fishing port. His parents are older than my parents. I wasn’t nervous and talked with them friendly. They welcomed me very much, and we ate delicious Sushi. We spend a good time, I felt friendly toward his parents. His mother gave me cookies in a beautiful box for my families. After we came back to Tokyo, he called his mother. She said “your girlfriend is gentle and very clever”. I felt happy!

Next, he came to my home, and I introduced him to my family. My parents, especially my father want me to get married hurry because he wants his grandchildren soon!
When he arrived at our home, Matthew (ours pet dog) welcomed him firstly. He likes guests who comes our home very much. Then I introduced him to our families, my father, mother, and sister. My boyfriend was nervous a little at first, but we became familiar soon. My families were favorably disposed toward him. We had a dinner and talked about our future. After he went back his home, my family said he was nice guy and they like him. I felt easy!

I received a lot of e-mail from member of the dating agency this month (I thought they wanted to spend Xmas and new years holidays with somebody). But I don’t need new candidates anymore.
Maybe, I’m going to withdraw from the dating agency next month. I thank the agency very much!!

My families want me to hold a wedding party as soon as possible. Can we get married and hold a wedding party soon? In advance of marriage, we should introduce our families to each other. Then we will have to seek new apartment and wedding place, and prepare the wedding party. We must be very busy from now!


Cound you live in Thailand with me?

Hi! How are you getting along? Today, I write an auditor who I had a date last month.
The day before the date, he called me and asked “Do you have anything that you can’t eat?” I answered “nothing”. So he selected the Thai food restaurant.

Actually, I have never eaten Thai food, so I didn’t know what we would eat. Anyway, I went the restaurant on time. The restaurant is very popular, so the seats ware full and also there was many foreign people. He was busy for his job, so he was late a little.

We introduced ourselves. He works at a Japanese audit corporation. He is very polite reliable person, and he’d like to get married seriously.
He ordered full course. I felt Thai food was very hot and spicy. So, I choked on red pepper many times during conversation.
He said, “Actually, I’ll work at Thailand near future. Could you live in Thailand with me?”

I was surprised but I understood why he selected this restaurant. I had already known I didn’t like Thai food. But I thought if I live in foreign country, I would have very exciting and interesting experience. When I was student, I wanted to go and live many countries. If I get married him, I expected interesting life, but I must quit my job. I’m proud of my career now, so I don’t want to live foreign country, because I can’t anything there. Moreover, he wasn’t attractive for me although he was polite reliable because I had boring time with him. So, I turned down him and decided to continue hunting.

After I registered the agency, I was proposed from many men. Most of them were older and rich than me. My impression for the agency is better than that I imagined before I registered. But anybody of them isn’t attractive for me. I’d like to meet a man who spends good time with me for long time. But most of men seem to want to meet a young, beautiful and submissive woman.
I understood there are many Japanese who want to get married but cant’ Why? My friends and colleagues said “There are nothing the chance which we can meet the partners”. I agree. We are too busy to find a partner.

After I wrote above, I received a comment from Antonio. I don’t think his questions are impolite. I answer those as possible as I can.

Why do I think that I will find happiness in marriage and having kids? Because I have my excellent parents and a sister, and we spend a very good time until now. So, I’d like to have an experience that I have a husband and kids although I may be unhappier than now (If I feel that I have to divorce him for me and my children, I don’t hesitate). My father said, “I am happy for having a sweet wife and great daughters.” Therefore, he recommends me to get married and having children.

Do I think it is nature calling? I don’t think so. In my opinion, it’s the custom rather than nature calling at least in Japan. I think most of Japanese want to do everything as other people do. Moreover, some people consider that single people are something wrong in Japan.

Why did I create an English blog instead of a Japanese one? Because the webmaster (he managed this web) asked me to write this English blog. I have my Japanese blog which you can see below address if you want.

http://kapabirasan.cocolog-nifty.com/blog/

I met another man recently. He is 38 years old. He works another pharmaceutical company, and we have same hobby (scuba). Our lifestyles (income, educational background, etc ) are similar, so we promissed to meet at a restaurant in Tokyo. I’ll write about him next time.

P.S
I’m very sorry that I can’t meet anyone who read this blog. Please ask any questions as comments!


The worst date in my life





Tsurugaoka hachimangu which enshrines the guardian deity of the samurai warriors of the Kamakura shogunate.

Thanks everyone for comments!! I was encouraged very much. Today, I’d like to write about 5 men who I met after I became a member of the agency.

After I registered to the agency, I received an e-mail from the Agency to introduce 12 men for me.
I saw their profiles (age, address, smoker or not, previous marriage history, have children or not, annual income, academic background, hobby, etc) and choose three men. Their name was Ichiro, Daisuke, and Hideki. We were in correspondence with each other by e-mail.

At first, I promised a date with Ichiro. When I saw his profile, I thought that we were going to get along together because we are same age, like playing tennis, non-smoker, graduated from college, and live near each other. He is a salesperson of insurance.

We met to have dinner at a restaurant in Tokyo. After we seated, he said, “Your income is very high! You can buy an apartment in Tokyo.” I was very surprised!! I wonder he is a salesperson of apartment actually??
Moreover, he said, “You became a member of this service recently, so you should a lot of man”.
How rude a man! I understood that he thought I wasn’t a candidate of his partner. He was a very poor speaker (of course, he wasn’t interested in me!!), so I was very very boring during the date although nice food, drinks, and view!

The day after the date, I received an e-mail from him. He turned down me, but I didn’t care because I never want to see him again!!

However, this experience affected me. After the date, I felt kindly toward other men who I have met. I think that most of men are better than Ichiro!!

I had already promised dates with Daisuke and Hideki. Daisuke is a guard, 33 years old. I went out with him 3 times. He is kindly, we had a good time. But he is a smoker and he isn’t going to quit smoking. And his work time is very irregular, so it was difficult to meet him. And Hideki is an engineer, 36 years old. He is also kindly and lives near my home. I went out with him twice. Their income ware lower than mine, but I didn’t care.

But I stopped going out with them. Why? Because I met another ideal candidate of husband!!
His name was Ken. He is an engineer, 44 years old. He works at a famous worldwide company (You must know the company’s name). I guess he fell in love at first sight !? I received e-mail from him twice a day everyday. Did I love him? Well…I didn’t know, but I thought he would become a good husband and father. I went out with him 4 times. My favorite place was Kamakura.

Now, I’d like to write about Kamakura. Back in the 13th century, Kamakura enjoyed a period as the Shoguns’ capital. It is home to many famous temples and historical sites, and remains very popular with visitors from both inside and outside Japan. Only about an hour’s train ride from Tokyo station, it is perfect for a day’s outing. Please see photos which I took there (Click thumbnail above).

Ken and I hoped to get married. However, I wasn’t in favor with his parents, so they objected our marriage. When Japanese get married, their parents’ opinion is very important. Ken asked me to wait until he persuaded his parents. But I felt that he thought his parents were more important than me for him. And I didn’t expect that I and his parents were going to get along together. So, I said good bye to him and started to hunt new candidate of my partner.

After that, I received e-mail from Taro. He passed the exam of an U.S. CPA and worked at a Japanese audit corporation. He looked like smart, honesty and rich. I promised a date with him. Is he my future husband??? I’ll write about him next time.


Where is my future husband?

Hello! I’m 35 years old single woman. I am a pharmacist who live in near Tokyo. I used to work at a pharmacy, and now I’m working at a pharmaceutical company in Tokyo. I’d like to write about an ordinary Japanese working woman’s life.

When I was twenties, I wasn’t interested in marriage. Because if I marry, I have to cook, clean the house, wash clothes, care children, and nurse my parents and husband’s parents if they have disease or disability. Moreover, I may live with husband’s parents in some cases. If Japanese women marry, they have many burdens.

On the other hand, what do Japanese men do after they marry? They have to work for their family of course. But once they come back home after work, they watch TV, read newspaper, and call their wives sometimes, “Give me a cup of tea”.

This is a typical Japanese married life. So, some Japanese women give up to work when they get marry even if they are physicians.

Nevertheless, most Japanese women want to marry. Why? I think that most Japanese women don’t want to work if their husband can earn to live their family. And most Japanese consider that they aren’t happy if they don’t marry and have their children. I guess Japanese women want to have children rather than husband. However, it’s difficult that single mothers raise their children in Japan due to economical and prejudicial reasons.

I became 35 years old in June 2008. My career life is going well, and I’d like to marry and have children while working now. But I don’t have a steady boyfriend and I can’t find a man who I want to marry him around me. So, I went to a dating agency in Tokyo three months ago. The Agency makes matchmaking and introduces suitable candidates of partner to customers. And also, they often make parties which customers can join. Over 20,000 people who want to marry are registered to here. There are over 5,000 similar providers in Japan. Everyone who over 20 years old and single can become a member of the agency.

The total fee is about 400,000 yen (about 3600 US $) for two years. It’s very expensive, but average of those . Also, our company’s benefit’s package was available, so I paid about 200,000 yen (about 1800 US $). Compared to similar service on web, these agencies are reliable. Members of agencies should submit a lot of certificate.

I submitted single certificate, a copy of graduation certificate of the college and identification certificate, and my profile to the agency. Also, I submitted my pictures which were taken by a professional photographer. It seems that I am more beautiful than usual!

Then, the staff of the agency asked me my ideal partner profile.I’d like to meet a thirties man who graduate a university, non-smoker, and an annual income is over 5 million yen (about 45500 US $). My annual income is about 7 million yen (about 63600 US $) which is higher than those of most Japanese men.

In Japan, single people are increased these days. They want to marry, but they can’t.In my opinion, one of the reasons is their shyness. Most Japanese are poor at making a move on favorite man or woman. And business is dull in Japan these days, so Japanese men have no confidence to earn fully for their family. As the result of those reasons, the number of children is decreased in Japan. It’s very serious problem in Japan.

When I registered to the agency, I’m worry about my age. Generally Japanese men want to marry twenties women .They consider that young women are beautiful and can have many healthy children( I wonder how many children they want). Therefore, most Japanese women want to marry before they become 30 years.

Moreover, Japanese men don’t like women who have high educational background or earn more than them, because they feel their pride are hurt. Most Japanese are still very conservative.

Several days later, I got an e-mail from the agency. They introduced twelve men to me. I chose three men and send e-mails to them. Two men answered. We promised to go out.

The registered members can see other member’s profile on website. We can search favorite men or women and send e-mails. I send a few e-mails and received a lot of e-mails! I met 5 men during three months. I’ll write about my experience next time.