My friends and family’s response to my marriage
Hi! Thank you for congratulations and best wishes, everyone.
After I got engaged, I informed my friends and relatives of my marriage. Of course, everyone congratulated me!!
But one of my friends (she is a single) send me e-mail. She wrote “Congratulation! But I feel lonely. I became last single person around me. Why did you decide to get married?” I answered, “I want to have my family.” She asked again, “Why did you choose him?” I answered, “I can enjoy conversation with him, and we have similar a sense of values and life style.”
But she didn’t agree with me. She said, “I think women suffer a loss if they get marriage. Married women must do most of housework, child-care, and parents’ care while they work at workplace. Moreover, they can’t fall in love anymore. You can live with him if you don’t get married. I ask again why you will get married.”
She doesn’t want her children and want her boyfriend always. These are difference between her and me. I want my children and husband rather than many boyfriends.
A Japanese feminist wrote in her book “Unmarried person want to get married, married person want to get divorced. But married person don’t get divorced if they can’t get divorce for economic or social reasons.” Is it true? I can’t answer now because I don’t have an experience. But I think marriage is worthwhile.
On the other hand, my family and most of friends congratulated me very much. I am deeply moved by their congratulations. They were very glad to hear I would get married (especially my parents!). I want to say thanks everyone includes people who are reading this blog!!
We went to see a hotel in Tokyo, and we decided we would hold a wedding party there on May. The hotel is a long established and is located near to one of the biggest stations in Tokyo. So our guests will be able to go to the hotel easily. We reserved an upper level floor room because we could see a fine panorama of Tokyo. We are going to invite about 40-50 people. I hope everyone enjoy our party!
We don’t have any big trouble until now. But I get in a quarrel with him sometimes. For example, I was quarreling with him for our honeymoon. I want to go to a beach resort and do scuba diving because we are divers. But he wants me to get advanced license before we go to do scuba diving. I said to him, “I have no time to get the license before our honeymoon.” He said, “If you don’t have an advanced license, we should not do scuba diving.” I think we can enjoy scuba if I don’t have an advanced license. But he doesn’t think so. I want him to be gentler.
After all, we decided to go to a beach resort. I won!
Anyway, I went to go to the hotel with my mother for selecting a wedding dress (we are going to hold a wedding ceremony at a wedding chapel). I’m glad to wear a wedding dress!! Kimono (Japanese dress) is also beautiful, but I don’t like Kimono very much because I breathed with difficulty and couldn’t eat fully when I wore Kimono. I chose a beautiful dress. Generally, Japanese brides change their dresses (white dress, color dress, or Kimono) more than once during a wedding party, but I’m not going to change my dress because I want to wear a white dress long time.
I called the dating agency to tell we engaged and want to cancel the membership. The agency required us to submit a notice of withdrawal. We will receive repayment from the agency because we canceled the service before the contract expires. Moreover we can get a wedding present (I don’t know specifically now) from the agency. Before I became a member of the agency, I doubted whether I could find my husband. But now, I think it was the best way to get marry for me.
marriage | admin | 
February 1, 2009 9:37 pm
Adrian, February 6, 2009 @ 10:38 am
I came across your blog when I was lookiing for a kanj reference and I just wanted to congratulate you on your wedding plans. I have been married for 40 years and I wouldn’t like to be single, but I married the right person. I have picked up some comments in your blog on what roles women are meant to perform particularly your friend who points out that women do most of the work in the house. Marriage is sharing your life with someone and sharing also means sharing house work. The relationship needs to be based on equality. I am from the Australia and here younger men are taking an active role in the domestic duties including childcare. And modern girls have a check list when choosing a husband and one of the most important skills is that the husband be able to cook and if he does then he will take an interest in the house and the woman will not be just a servant. I have friends, a Japanese couple that I tutor in English and the husband is learning to cook and share the other duties in the house. Initially he was very reluctant and wanted to sit on the couch and watch the soccer on TV but is warming to the idea with a lot of encouragement from friends and his wife. Maybe this is all too radical for you but I hope it gives you something to think about.
I am male and an excellent cook, cleaner etc.
Good luck.
Curi, February 8, 2009 @ 3:32 am
Congratulations! My parents met when they were 16, married at 20, and have been happily married for over thirty years. I also think marriage is worthwhile. Things would be a lot different for them if they hadn’t gotten married and just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend!
I know true love exists, because my parents have it. I am 28, single, and I want to get married. But I don’t even have a boyfriend right now, and it is frustrating.
Guys nowadays hate the idea of marriage more than previous generations, I think. They are pressured by their parents, girlfriends and society into eventually getting married. Once they are, they are miserable so they make their wives miserable, and then she wants a divorce. This is my opinion, anyway. It’s rare to meet a guy who really wants to get married and have a family.