A delicate and serious problem

Hello, everyone. Thank you for comments!
I’d like to write a delicate and serious topic today. This topic is difficult to write here because many countries people read this blog. But this problem is very important for me and our marriage.

I am Japanese. My mother and my sister are too. But some Japanese don’t consider we are “normal Japanese” because my father isn’t Japanese (I’m afraid to write his nationality. So I’m sorry that I can’t write here). He was born in Japan and has lived here during all his life. He graduated Japanese university. But he is a foreigner in Japan. Most of Japanese company didn’t want to employ him for discrimination and prejudice. So he worked at a small trade company which was found by his country’s people. He retired now and enjoyed his life with his wife and a dog. He is very cheerful and tough, I’m proud of him.

There is an ethnic discrimination for his country’s people in Japan. When he married my mother, my grandmother (my mother’s mother) opposed their marriage because she worried about her daughter’s difficulties which she might happen to meet. She said to my father, “Please don’t married my daughter.” She didn’t come to their wedding party. But she accepted my father when I was born. Thereafter my father gets along with my grandmother.

After I graduated a Japanese college, I could be employed in a Japanese company because I was a specialist. If I don’t have any skill or expertise, it might difficult to be employed in a Japanese company. An ethnic discrimination affect not only himself but also his family.

My fiancé doesn’t care my father’s nationality. But his parents has a prejudice, they oppose our marriage. So he is suffering now. He wants to be congratulated by his parents. And he worry that I can get along with his parents (I don’t have a confidence about this problem!!).

He may hesitate to get marry when his parents oppose strongly. If he more values his parents than me, I have to break off our engage. I don’t want to be disappointed in him….He seems to begin to find my fault. We often quarrel about small things recently. I really never know what might happen next.

I have never felt ethnic discrimination until recently. I have never happened to meet any ethnic trouble, so I thought ethnic discrimination has faded. Actually, many sensible Japanese people don’t care nationality. But job-hunting and marriage are difficult problem for foreigners in Japan even if he was born in Japan like my father.

Former days, There were strong discrimination and prejudice. Then my father experienced many troubles especially regarding job-hunting and marriage. But he said to me, “Don’t hate his parents. It is a matter of course that parents worry about their children. They will accept you when you live together happily.” I agree his opinion. My mother dared to get married my father and they live happily now. But does my fiancé dare to get married me? Is he enough tough to oppose his parents?

I don’t hate his parents at the moment. But I am irritated about his attitude. He should say his intention to his parents firmly if he really wants to get married me. I guess if his attitude is firm, his parents accept his opinion unwillingly. I want to see his toughness!!

Next month we should mail invitation cards for wedding ceremony. Before we are going to mail those, I want to confirm his intention. I think he is a little irresolute. Can we get married without accident? And should I get married him? Is this marriage blue?

But I don’t be depressed. Of course I wish get married him now. But this is a good opportunity that I can see true his character. If he isn’t a person who I think, I would miss him but I should say goodbye to him.


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